Facing it all. Balancing the pain and pleasure is the difficult part.
I choose sarcasm and dark humor to cover up the difficult things. If I belittle them, they don’t seem so overpowering. If I can disarm, then I am in control.
That’s only a cover story and not a very good one. It actually serves to highlight the negative and block any pleasure from finding its way through the shroud.
Now I’m deliberately focusing on the pain in its raw form. Addressing it head on and truly feeling it for what it was and still is.
I think that’s the only way I can finally get past it and experience the other side. The pleasure.