Striving to be and have and do.
So much of what I have set my sights on has eluded me.
I have to look closely and see the common thread in all the disappointments.
And that is me.
I don’t know if it’s inherently me that is defective, though that is how it does feel.
It most likely is my approach and delivery.
Always an issue.
Perhaps I don’t really want the things I think I want. So therefore I don’t put out 100% effort.
It could be the classic fear of failure, again causing the withholding of effort.
In an attempt to comfort, I try to convince myself that I am better off without it.
Whatever it is.
The job, the car, the body, the beauty, that charming personality, the life.
All that I don’t have.
The thing I need most is acceptance. Not from anyone or anything but myself.
To not only accept but to cherish and savor all that I am, have and do.