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Who Needs In-Flight Movies?

As I board the flight I hear her.
The incessant talker.
Every flight has at least one.
Their verbal stamina and ability to make themselves heard well above the noise of the engines and in cabin air flow amazes me.
She is arguing with the attendant about her overstuffed bag, she is trying to claim it fits in the “one free personal item” category.
Clearly it does not.
“I travel all the time and use this very same bag. I have never had an issue before today. This is crazy, you know?”
I know, chances are she will be sitting near me on the flight.
Wait for it…wait for it…
Directly behind me! How did I guess?
Why can’t I predict the winning lottery numbers as accurately? 
I know where she grew up and where she lives now. I know where she vacations and why.
“I only go places where I have relatives that I can stay with. I save a lot of money that way, you know?”
I know her current profession, Dental Hygienist/Assistant and although she is saying how much she loves it and the children whose oral hygiene she feels responsible for…
“I’m doing something worthwhile. I’m making a difference, you know?”
I can hear how bitter she really is about it.
“My first love…oral surgery, just didn’t work out. But I’m really ok with it. I am. Life goes on, you know?”
I know way too much about her relationships, past and present.
“I believe everything happens for a reason, you know?”
What I know above everything else is, she has an annoying habit of excessively using the phrase, “you know”.
The man sitting next to me so proudly wore his neck pillow with built-in ear plugs while boarding the flight.
A “Sharper Image” purchase, no doubt.
Much too early in the travel time line in my opinion, to be getting so cozy. Though as the flight went on, I began to envy his comfort.
Not just the physical comfort of a wearable pillow, but the comfort that comes with that level of self-confidence. The kind it takes to look so ridiculous and so assured at the same time.
As if these two were not enough to simultaneously annoy and entertain me, there are children…lots of them. Very loud children.
While walking through the airport after my flight finally ended, I pass a party of five (adults) wearing their pajamas. Footed pajamas. Midday. In the airport. No further comment.
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