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Apathy and Small Talk Don’t Mix

Listening to someone talk, someone that I have nothing in common with, and it hurts.
I feel mean and selfish right now, but I just don’t care about this conversation.

I’m thinking about what I should say, what she may want to hear.
I’m thinking about catching up on reading something I am interested in, whatever that is.

I’m putting on my game face, nodding, smiling and giving an occasional “uh-huh”, but in my head I’m screaming “shut the fuck up!”.

I’m wondering if my eyes are beginning to glaze over, I can almost feel my pupils dilating more with every spoken word. Can’t she feel the tension in here?

I can be much more tolerant. I listen and I do care.
Just not today…and maybe not tomorrow, this is happening more and more lately.

So my mind wanders further and I’m recalling times when this has been me. Incessantly talking, even after the person I’m talking to is clearly not interested in hearing what I have to say.

Does anyone enjoy the sound of our words more than we do ourselves?
Are our thoughts as intriguing to anyone like they are to us?
Is this what irony looks like?
Why is she still talking?

I want to write this shit down.


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